Granger Danger
by Danger with Granger
Summary: The title is pretty self explanatory, but basically, an organization is formed, by the famous Weasley twins, a mass murderer, the boy who lived, and his idiotic best friend, to teach older and younger students to protect themselves from the danger also known as...Granger *shudder*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We obviously don't own Harry Potter**

* * *

It was a pretty normal day at Hogwarts. Hermione was on a rampage, practically killing anyone she saw, and Harry and Ron had gotten injured in the first 5 minutes, and were in the hospital, having a very important conversation.

Ron frowned. "Does this head wrap make me look ugly?" he asked.

Harry gave him a look. "Are you serious Ron?!"

"NO SIRIUS BLACK IS SERIOUS!" A high pitched girly voice popped up. Fred and George both entered the room, in way too tight nurses uniform, with neon green wigs on their heads, and way too much make up.

Harry and Ron stared at nurses Fred and George

"I know I'm beautiful, but it's still rude to stare," Fred said with a smirk. "Oh and Sirius wanted to be in on this as well, except currently he's getting run over by Hermione in the great hall."

All of them shuddered.

"I know I'm awesome," Ron began earning a snort from everyone in the room. "But you didn't have to visit us!"

"Especially looking like… that!" Harry added with a shudder.

"We know we look very good," said George. "And you guys are in the hospital every week because of… her." He said the last part the same way people said Voldemort.

At that minute, a very tired Sirius ran in, panting. "I lost.. her…in.. great hall," he managed to say.

Sirius looked at Fred and George. "You might want to hide, like NOW!" He dove behind a table attempting to hide, as Fred and George dove under a very confused Harry and Ron's beds.

A furious and terrifying Hermione burst in waving her wand around. "Where are they?" she demanded. "You tell me right now RONALD WEASLEY!"

"Ummm… Harry?" Ron squeaked. "Do we tell her?"

Hermione glared at him. "If you don't tell me, you Lav-Lav will get it," she seethed.

Ron's eyes widened in horror. "No Lav-Lav!"

At that minute Lavender burst in, hearing her precious Won-Won say her name. "I'm her Won- Oh, Hermione, Sorry Won-Won! Bye!" Lavender ran out.

In one swift motion, Hermione levitated Harry's bed, throwing it against the wall revealing a terrified Fred, curled up in the uniform and wig.

"What are you?" Hermione began. Fred stood up and started modeling the dress, until Hermione pointed her wand at him. Then she made him sit down in the time-out chair she whipped up. Repeating the same thing with Ron's bed, and the table, soon a terrified George and Sirius were in the same position, with Harry and Ron staring.

"Bu-bu-bu-but Hermioneeeee," George whined. Hermione glared at him and he cowered under her gaze. "Sorry," he muttered lowering his head.

Sirius attempted to reach for his wand. Hermione gave him a look. "Put. That. Down."

Sirius whimpered like a bad puppy. "Yes ma'am," he said weekly.

Ron stared at her fascinated. "You are one smooth witch Hermione!" Harry slapped his palm against his forehead, and Fred, George and Sirius snickered quietly as Hermione turned around to glare at Ron.

"Did you just-" she was cut off as Lavender entered on the room, with a horrified look on her face. "Won-Won stop hitting on her!" she whined.

Harry looked at her in disbelief. "You heard your boyfriend hitting on Hermione, but you didn't hear me or anyone else," he motioned toward Fred, George and Sirius who were in their time out chairs, "Screaming for help?"

Lavender tilted her head and squinted at him. "Do I know you?' she asked. Fred, George and Sirius didn't even bother to hide they're laughter at the look on Harry's face.

"I'm Harry Potter," Harry said slowly.

"Oh! You're Ron's sidekick aren't you?" she asked. "It's nice to finally meet you!"

The Weasley twins and Sirius were rolling on the floor, even though they had a body binding curse upon them, but they tried. Even Hermione was laughing. And Harry was… being Harry and trying not to kill her.

**1 hour later…**

"Finally! That is one crazy witch," said Sirius.

Harry nodded. "You're telling me," he agreed.

"How do the younger students protect themselves from her?" asked Fred.

"The only people she can't stand are me, you, Sirius, Harry, Ron and anyone in her year or older who gets on her nerves," said George.

"That's it!" Sirius said pumping his fist in the air.

Everyone stared.

"We have to teach other students to protect themselves from Hermione!" He sounded pretty excited and Fred and George caught on.

"We can have meetings in this room, and we can form an organization," Fred said with a grin gesturing to the room of requirement.

George nodded. "We'll have half the school in these meetings for sure!"

Harry also seemed to like the idea. "So like Dumbledore's army?" he asked.

Fred shook his head. "No, how about-"

"Granger Danger," Fred and George finished off with identical grins.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tiny person 1!" Sirius yelled out.

The first years glanced at each other, and a girl raised her hand, confused. Sirius made a huge check mark on the wall, next to a badly drawn poster of Hermione.

"Tiny person 2!" Sirius yelled out.

A boy raised his hand.

Sirius frowned. "You're not tiny." But he still made a check mark over the first one.

"Tiny person - "

"Get on with it Sirius!" Ginny snapped. She held out a stack of brochures. "Now, I have to go...do something. Bye!"

"Wait! Ginny!" Harry tried running after her, only to run into the door.

"ORDER IN COURT!" James yells. He groans. "I need a chair!" A pink cushy chair appears and he stand up on it, waving around a flag with Hermione's face on it. "ORDER!" With everyone listening, he begins his wise speech. "This flag is our peace treaty with Hermione. There's only one of these and I'll be keeping it, so the rest of you plan out your funerals."

Harry sighs. "Where are Fred and George?"

As if one cue, they burst in dramatically. Through the same door, Harry was leaning on. Their wigs, now neon pink and knee length were tangled in another sort of tiny person as they wrestled him in.

"Here is not so tiny person number 79," Fred says with a groan. Tired of wrestling, he whips out a hammer and shoves the...person in.

"Hey!" Ron calls out. "That's not a TINY PERSON! That's a slightly taller than average person!"

Lavender gasps, her hand on her heart. Well, trying to find her heart. "That's Dwakey Wakey!"

Sirius lets out a sight of relief. "Ferret's here! We can use him as a Hermione copy."

James writes a few words on the board. "Just make sure you know these spells and you're good! You have three seconds."

Each one of the poor 78 tiny people scramble for their wands.

"TIME'S UP!" Sirius wails.

"Question one!" Ron yells. "What do you do when Hermione approaches you?"

Lavender jumps up. "I know Won-Won! You stop, drop and roll!"

Ron grins. "Correct! Very smart!"

Sirius snorts. "What do you if you're in a broom closet with Hermione?"

Harry tries to select a tiny person, but Ron barges in. "You kiss her!"

James frowns. "What do you do if you if you have the same mark as Hermione?"

Draco answers. "You eat your paper." At everyone's confused glances, he adds. "True story, it worked. I only suffered majorly."

* * *

"So that is the Granger Danger society! You learn to protect yourself, you're given a brochure, a nurse uniform, a life, a poster Ron drew of Hermione and...stuff!" Fred says brightly, flipping his wig. He hands a two foot letter. "Specially written by James Potter and co written by Sirius Black.

Molly stares. And stares. She sighs. And faints

George grins. "She's so impressed she's speechless! Now let's go deliver 79 letters!"

78 letters later...

Fred and George purchase the new wigs and apparate. To Malfoy Manor. They knock.

The door is opened and they obviously step inside and and shout out their sales pitch to the almost empty castle.

"Are your idiotic children being hunted by a senile witch? Are they stupid? Are they...ummm.. I can' t read this- " Fred cuts off.

George continues. "Are they in love with her?" He stops. "Well duh! Sirius needs to co-write better. Well we have a cure! The cure is GRANGER DANGER society being run by the most talented wizards of all time! Your tiny...goblin...will have a course run by taller and wiser goblins who have a lot of experience with hot witches."

Fred frowns. "Who are we yelling at?"

George grabs a pillow and a house elf grabs George. Three seconds later, the house elf defenestrates them a mile from the manor.

"Well...that worked."

* * *

Hermione glares darkly at a sixth year who had been watching her for a nano second too long.

She glares at his friend for hanging out with that idiot.

She glares at the floor for holding the weight of these morons.

She glares at Ginny for glaring at her.

Ginny glares at the idiots for making Hermione glare.

Ginny glares at the floor for holding up the two morons who caused Hermione to glare.

The floor glares back.

Hermione pulls out her wand ready to hex someone, or something, and Ginny sensing danger, starts babbling. "Hermione! Remember you're not allowed to hex people today! It's hex free day! We had a conversation on this! Harry and Ron were there to!" She tries to steer Hermione away. "Where are they anyway? Harry and I are supposed to go to Hogsmeade soon and Ron and Lavender are chasing after us. I have to get ready as well so let's head back. I'm not sure what to wear, because I have so many clothes to wear and I don't know what matches my skin tone, well I know but what looks better because Harry says the red jumper looks good, but I like the blue one better so I thought I should go with neither except the only other jumper I have is pink and I can't wear that because even YOU know that looks horrible with my hair."

Hermione nods. "Clothes. Totally."

"And I thought about going with a dress except it's freezing so I thought about using a warming charm, so I'm wearing that green dress, except..." Ginny trails off. "Oh Merlin! I need to grab my shoes from the Room of Requirement!"

Hermione groaned. "Ginny just wear another pair! You have billions!"

Ginny sighs impatiently. "But those are special Hermione! They're black and 3 inch heels and go perfectly with my dress!"

Hermione thinks for a second. "Don't you have another pair that's 3 inches long?"

Ginny huffs. "Those are 3. 1 inches! I can't wear 3.1 inch heels with that dress!" She grabs Hermione's wrist. "Come on! The Granger Danger meeting's probably over by now!"

Hermione looks at her. "Meeting? What meeting?" she demands.

Ginny's eyes widened. "Uh..you know what? I'll go with the 3.1 inch shoes...HERMIONE!" Ginny tries to grab her but Hermione's already gone. "Oh Merlin! What do I do?" She glances around in panic.

She shrugs. "Oh well. I tried. I need to polish that extra 0.1 inch on that heel anyway."

She calmly walks away.

* * *

Hermione burst in.

James screams and jumps off the pink cushy chair, grabbing the flag. "I come in peace!" He waves it in front of her. "Do you know what PEACE is?"

Lavender screeches and stops making out with Won Won, drops into his lap and rolls off.

Ron...stares.

Harry holds up Ginny's shoes. "Why?"

Sirius glances around and grabs the drawing of Hermione and hides behind the scrap of paper.

The tiny people trample Dwakey Wakey on their way out.

And then...

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**THANK FOR READING**

**REVIEW IF YOU WANT US TO CONTINUE**

**(not that we're desperate or anything ha ha ha nope)**

**and that's it, we'll see you in a year again bye**


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